Children Psychologist

Psychological Development of Children in Social Life

Development phase difference in the world of social status of children in the friendship and have friends playing in the school environment and outside the school environment, different from the sense of friendship that occurs in adults, for adults is a bond of friendship relationships with others, in which trust , understanding, sacrifice and help each other will be woven into a long period, while the world's children do not like what happens in adults, in the world of children's friendships are not for a long time, sometimes when there are problems with the Just a small, friendly fabric will be cut off.

There are two methods of research to determine the meaning of friendship and friends play in the world of children:

1. By the way we ask a few questions, like;

Who was your best friend? why would he? what you like from him?

2. By the way we talk about friendship, and the two friends are arguing because they can not solve the problem well.

From both methods, the second method we will get a lot of information, then we ask questions to the child; to how the situation resolved?

From a lot of information given the child, we will find that our conclusions for the several phases, such as;

First Phase;

- Friends to play

Friends play for children aged between 5 to 7 years.

For them, a friend is someone who has an interesting toy that residence near around them, and they have the same ketertarikkan.

Personality of the friend is not a problem, the most important thing for them is the activity and what toys they have, their friendship will be lost if one of these kids will not play again with another child because of burnout and boredom, their friendship will be broken as soon as possible and just terbina back.

Examples of conversations that we often see in children aged 5 to 7 years, ranging from the sharing of food, for example;

"If you give me chocolate, you're my friend again"

In this age of easily tell them about the friends, the conversation usually begins with the words "your name? and my name is ......" and they can not just be friends after they find out their names.

Second Phase

- Browse for the joint

Friends play and build trust, for children aged between 8 to 10 years.

In this age, understanding friend little wider than the first phase, because for them the meaning friends have stepped into the feelings of mutual trust, mutual need and mutual visits.

In this phase of a child to make friends is not that easy a child in the first phase, because they must have a willingness friends from both sides.

They will not want to be friends again after the problem arose between them, such as;

- One of them is in violation of a promise;

- One of them is affected by gossip;

- One of them did not want to help, while others are

needed help.

Conversations that we often see in this second phase, for example;

"Why did you choose him as your friend?"

In this phase, a child is not easy to make friends, friendship usually happens after a while they just know each other better they would weave, sometimes friendship can be reached adulthood, sometimes also cut off depending on what happens factors for their friendship.

Third Phase

- Friendship is full of mutual understanding

Occurs in children aged 11 to 15 years, for them the meaning of friends not just to play it, a friend here should also serve as a place to share thoughts, feelings and understanding.

In this phase of friendship into the stadium a very personal, because in general they are experiencing during puberty with psychological problems such as depression, fear, problems at home, or financial problems that happened to them, they usually know better the psychological problems compared with those their own parents.

Friendship in this phase could change that with their age, than just a friend to play, and then developed into friends and friends share the belief shared emotions.

Friendship is usually broken because one of them move house or

attend school in another city.

The conversation between them that we often hear in this phase, for example;

"We need a good friend, because we can share a story where other people do not need to know, a good friend would give advice or the best solution"

The Importance of Friendship for Social Development of Children

- Popular or not popular, and what a result

At the elementary school environment, there is usually a popular child and unpopular, whether the child is more pronounced because kepintaranya or anything because everything else.

They get more attention, as always invited and present at his birthday party while unpopular never invited.

To learn more about the social relationships and not the popular kids popular in the classroom, a teacher or you can ask a few questions to them,

like;

- With whom do you want to go sightseeing?

- With whom do you want to sit?

It turned out that the child is more popular and unpopular children rarely or not at all mentioned.

To better know the child was not popular and popular, these questions can be developed again with the questions of negative and positive questions.

With these questions, we can more quickly find out where the popular kids and where kids are not popular and we can more quickly find and help solve problems of the child at the stadium is still not too far away.

In this way, in the end we can distinguish their children's development in a sequence, such as;

1. Children bearing the star sosiometris

Star sosiometris, meaning they are most widely known the positive side of the side

negative, they usually preferred and recognized by his friends some of them bearing the star of this sosiometris feel alienated.

2. Children usually

Usually they are not so popular compared to sosiometris stars, but they mostly referred to the positive side and a bit called the negative side.

3. Children who are isolated

Usually they are not referred to the positive side and also not mentioned the negative side, it seems isolated child is not seen by his friends.

4. Children who are alienated

Usually they are the children of others exiled and not recognized as a friend, they are usually very few known side more positive and is called the negative side.

Sequences of the above, we as parents should be responsive and do not hesitate to ask the teachers at school, how the psychological development of children in the school environment, this is done to compare the psychological development of children in the home environment and school environment, so we can quickly browse and find out if your child has a problem in itself that dare not disclosed to us as his parents and we can quickly handle and help the child solve the problem, before the problem child and already changing the nature of the child karekter.

Important factors that influence the social status of children

1. How to educate parents and foster children

Parents who educate their children in a gradual way to explain something, and to educate children with love, usually their children have high self-confidence and they will be easy to develop social relationships.

Another case with children who do not get the love and they are fully educated by their parents in a rough way and get the events that make the child the trauma, then we can clearly see the obvious differences, these children are usually difficult to control and have a problem, they will not be easy to build social relationships and difficult to build friendships with other children.

2. Birth order

Birth order, affects also the social status of children, because usually the youngest child is more popular and familiar with the negotiations of the brothers.

3. Skills and the skills to play a role

Usually the popular kids have skills and skills in a position to take any role and position of these roles can be better developed.

Popular children usually have intellegensi / good intelligence.

By having these characteristics, the popular children's easier to place themselves or adapt to a foreign environment.

4. Name

Apparently the neighborhood children, the name can take effect.

The name that can be associated with anything, can bring a negative impact on social development of child psychology. because the children are very concrete in stating something that, as a result these children feel inferior and cornered when children other derided because his name can be associated with anything.

Attraction 5

Children who have their own appeal, usually always popular than children who lack charm.

Children 3 years old, was able to distinguish which children are interesting and where children are less attractive, ketertarikkannya reaction similar to adults.

At 3-year-olds, children who are not interesting and attractive child did not seem obvious, but the 5-year olds, it can be seen very clearly, 5-year-olds who are not attractive generally more aggressive and often dishonest in play, while the 5-year-olds who have charm, usually they are often given include the positive-enter from the surrounding so that confidence grows higher, sabaliknya at 5-year-olds who did not pull his self-confidence decreases as enter-enter the affected negatively of the environment.

6. Behavior

Not all children who took became popular because there are many other factors that could affect the popular categories.

Behavior that makes the popular kids, among others; warm-hearted, has a sense of sympathy, not aggressive, can work together, helpful, like giving enter or positive comments, and others.

In general, the factors above are the children of popular, and these factors can determine the social status of children, but not always popular in the later children may determine the social status, most children grow out of an environment that is always awake education , intellegensinya, skilled and unskilled, have a good and attractive but not popular, there are also some children who grow up from a troubled environment, less attention from parents, have a less good name, and do not have appeal, but could also become popular.

And what about the children that are less valued such as children and isolated children are alienated.

Group of these children have a lower value than the kids his age, but children who are isolated more easily recognized than in children who alienated, but over time the children are alienated will be recognized as well.

Children who alienated a greater risk of adaptation in the age of nearly mature, they become alienated because there is a deviation from one of the factors of social status of children.

If the children are weak in the face ejekkan-ejekkan or temptation from the other kids, then it can shape the behavior and learning process will be disrupted.

Several problems in children are alienated, among others;

- They openly shunned

- Often involved in cases of negative interaction events

- Have behavior problems

- Often show aggressive behavior

- Has a negative status is stable

- Often in trouble at school

In general, children who are alienated, berreaksi in two ways:

1. Pull away

Usually they withdrew from contact with others, they actually want to play with other kids, but they are being ignored and neglected, even as they taunted him with the title "professor" because the child is wearing glasses, therefore they always menhindar of children other children, at home they are usually quiet and as long as possible to stay in his room reading comics or listen to music, to their parents do not like the game reasonable outside.

2. Antisocial behavior

Usually they are difficult to set, when other kids did not like the behavior, for example;

By the time kids play ball the other, then came the alienated child, but not to play with other children, the child will come just to disrupt it by taking the ball, and when to play the ball boy will appear with rough, making the other kids stopped playing, children will be alienated angry until finally the children and others forced to play the ball back to the rules desired by the child who had been alienated.

For children who are isolated in countries that have been developed, such as the Netherlands, the parents of these children will have a report from a teacher or teachers, then they are given advice and consultation from child psychologist who is under the Department of Children Troubled child, then will be sent to the Ministry of Health for mental unstable to be briefed and social skills in how to adapt or how to adapt the environment at home and school environment.

For older people, they are taught to adapt to such therapy in the community environment so that eventually they could become independent.